That particular Call!!!

Yesterday (29th Jan 2009) afternoon, I got a very interesting call. It would not have been so interesting had it not been for the goof-up that the caller did. So I thought maybe its worth this blog!! The call was from ICICI bank. In the following conversation, TM is myself and BE is the Bank Executive. Brackets indicate what I thought.So here goes:

TM: Hello!

BE: Good Afternoon Sir

TM: Yes, good afternoon!

BE: Sir I am calling from ICICI bank.

TM: (Oh hell, one more crap call) Ok, what can I do for you?

BE: Sir, is this the home of Mr. Madhukar Munje?

TM: Yes certainly it is!

BE: Sir, may I talk to him?

TM: (Dude, you have screwed up big time) Well he is my grandfather and he expired four years ago.

BE: Oh I am sorry sir. This phone  number I guess is registered in his name?

TM: No it is not. It is registered in his son's name.

BE: Oh yes sir. Mr. Ananta Munje.

TM: Yes that's right.

BE: So sir am I speaking to Mr. Ananta Munje? 

TM: (Dude, I had told you that I am the GRANDSON of Mr. Madhukar Munje; not his SON!!!) No you are not. I am the son of Mr. Ananta Munje.

BE: Ok sir so when can he be contacted?

TM: (you should have kept the phone down fella!) What do you want to talk about?

BE: Sir I had some interesting loan schemes...

TM: But they were for my grandfather were they not? 

BE: No sir they were for Mr. Ananta Munje.

TM: (That's it buddy!! I am done with you.) Where did you get this number from? I don't think my father will be interested in the schemes you have. Thank you very much. Have a good day.

At this point, I disconnected the line just because my mobile phone started ringing!! I would have loved to take him to task for the next ten minutes (afterall, incoming is free guys!!!)

What can Obama Do?

A lot of hype has surrounded the new president of the USA. Being the first black to ever take up the US presidency and also taking over the baton from the not-so-famous Bush regime, Obama has a lot of reconciliation to do and a lot to prove. At the outset, he will be expected to make his stand clear on the global issue of Terrorism which has been taking gigantic leaps in the past days. With the Bush regime becoming a witness to the largest terror attack ever and also the first of this scale on a hitherto untouched country followed by the Afghanistan war and the controversial  Iraq war, Obama will have to make his stand clear right at the outset. So far, with a surge in the attacks on the Osama terror camps, things look good. But still it is too early in the game to predict the outcome. India will be looking out for a potential ally in its constant contest with the terrorists. It will be interesting to see whether the US government now sidelines itself from the proxy war that has been going on or does it declare a full-scale war on terrorism with a view to erase it from the face of the earth once and for all.

                Another issue that Obama will have to address immediately will be the global economic slowdown which has timed itself perfectly with the change of regime in the USA. It would be worth watching what corrective steps are taken by the new faces in the face of the meltdown because their efficiency will not be judged by whether they make the world recover from the meltdown but by how fast they can do so. The stock markets which have become the index of the current crisis have not yet recovered and it will take them some time to regain their past glory. It remains to be seen how far the Obama government can speed up this recovery.

                Yet another issue will be the Nuclear Proliferation Treaty and the Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (the NPT and the CTBT) and also the much hyped nuclear deal. With the Lok Sabha elections now scheduled for April-May, the nuclear deal issue is bound to take centrestage in the campaigning. What stand is taken by the US government in this regard will be interesting to watch because it will decide whether they consider India as their greatest ally or their potential nemesis and Obama would be better off letting his actions speak for him.

                With the elections in India lurking around the corner, we, the people, now need to evaluate all these factors and form a clear, concise and accurate opinion on them because after five years, we will again be given a chance to form a mandate and our decision will be affecting the lives of everyone around us. The least we can do is to ensure that we exercise our right to vote. That’s all we can do and that is precisely what is expected of us.

Jumbo takes the final ride

It was a shocker that many were expecting. But the way in which it came was something that was not expected. Anil Kumble; The Jumbo of the Indian cricket team, the captain, the numero uno among Indian bowlers and one of the most committed players the world has ever seen retired from international cricket yesterday at perhaps his favorite hunting ground AKA Ferozshah Kotla. The real Man of the Indian team, Kumble epitomizes every quality one can dream of in a cricketer as well as a person and he has shown it time and again. Bowling with a fractured jaw, bowling with 11 stitches on your hand and taking a splendid running catch off your own bowling are just a few of the tips of the iceberg that signifies the performance of this great man. He stood tall for 18 years in the cricket team and has been notably absent from the controversies. The silent assassin went on with the tasks at hand for these many years and without any pomp and show, created a mountain of wickets that stands as the highest in India and the third highest in the world and to think that he reached his 50 wickets marks in just his 10th match goes to show the caliber that he possesses. Add to that a Test century and you wonder what you are staring at! Even in his last test, he scored a healthy 45 which is a pretty nice score for a person that holds the record for the most wickets by an Indian bowler. Being the only Indian to have taken 10 wickets in an innings, Anil Kumble stitched together a test squad that has grown by leaps and bounds under his short stint as captain. There are people who shout at the top of their voice amongst each other to make their opinions known and there are people who fight for their voices to be heard. But there are people who resort to no such forms. When they talk, everyone listens. Jumbo starts this list and mind you, only a very select number of individuals make it to this list. The Indian fans will miss this great man for ages to come and it will be indeed a mountain of a task to find a replacement for such a player. Regrettably, he will not be seen in action at Nagpur but we will be seeing another final show in the form of Sourav Ganguly who takes on the Aussies for one final battle at the brand new VCA stadium.

Fate

27^th June 2008. The date I was scheduled to join Tech Mahindra with 150 odd college mates of mine. 20^th June 2008. The date we got the mail that our joining had been postponed till further notice. It was the day all of us cursed Tech Mahindra till dawn and continued it for atleast a week or so uninterrupted. I had started thinking why? Why was the joining postponed? Didn’t Tech Mahindra know the number of people slated to join? Didn’t they anticipate the infrastructure they would need to cater to the number? From that day to this, so much has happened. It has been a thought provoking and a literal life changing experience for me. 

Ganeshotsav is the chief festival in my family and last year, we missed out on it due to the death of my grandfather’s elder brother just days before Ganesh Chaturthi. With my joining slated for June, I was certain of missing it out this time too and for a long time henceforth, I would be unable to enjoy Ganeshotsav at home for the full span of 10 days. But it was planned to work out differently and I was home savoring the one last chance for the full 10 days having nothing to do other than celebrate Ganeshotsav. 

During that time, Tech Mahindra scheduled the joining of 120 odd freshers for 10^th October 2008. The list featured 57 people from my college but my name didn’t feature in that list too. I again thought why? Why didn’t I get the date even now? A week after Ganeshotsav, my grandmother suffered an attack of Lumbar (lower back) Spondylosis and was bed ridden for 20 days writhing in pain and it was essential that I remain at home. That period too passed on. 

Then my dear friend Harshavardhan initiated a process to fill up the 10^th October batch to capacity as many people called to join on that date had not joined due to other commitments (other companies, M.S. , MBA, etc) and he called me on to join him in the process. At that time, I readily agreed but my father was against it and I put all the pessimism I could muster in a single mail and sent it to Harsha. That mail didn’t reek of pessimism. It WAS pessimism incarnated in electronic form and I regretted it from the point I thought of writing it but dad had spoken and if there’s one rule I follow, it is that I never go against a final decision taken by him even if it means that I have to hurt a very good friend of mine because owing to several such confrontations, I have never regretted the decision in the long term. So I backed out at a time when I would have been an asset to the project undertaken by Harsha and that too at a decisive point. Didn’t I believe in his plan? Didn’t I believe in the decision Harsha would take? I would stake my life on his decisions any day. I would blindly follow the path if he approved of it. There are a very few people that I have come to trust blindly. His plan was flawless. The concerns that I expressed in the mail that I had prepared never existed. I had to formulate them from my imagination. Harsha is one of them and I state it openly. I would do anything to get a joining date and his plan of action was perfect. I had considered it from all possible angles and had found that there were no gaps. Still I backed out. I didn’t know why I forced myself to do it. I just obeyed dad because he alone has the veto power in my decisions. That was on October 5. Harshavardhan Kunte’s efforts bore fruit and he has joined Tech Mahindra on 17^th October. I was never a part of the final plan and I didn’t get any such joining date. On 15^th October, my grandfather (mummy’s father) died in the morning. The news was a shocker because it was least expected. It was on the same date that I had got Harsha’s SMS saying that he had got the joining date for 17^th October. That news made my day in more ways than anyone can ever fathom. All through this long and agonizing wait for the joining date when I was ready to join on a notice of even ONE day, there was this one chance that I perhaps missed out on due to my own inaction. But as it turns out, I was needed here at home on that day and had I been in Pune, I would have had to come back and in any case, I would have missed having a last look at my grandfather. I would have missed unexpectedly talking to him for the last time on the last day of his life. 

I don’t know why but every time there is something unexpected, it turns out that it has been in my best interests though I don’t know it at that time. The Master Plan of my life is in action and is revealing itself to me, one page per day at a time and I have come to trust it till now...

Sach a great man!!

Sachin Tendulkar. A name that generates 13,60,000 search results in 0.06 seconds. A name that still sends shockwaves down the spines of bowlers. A name that calms a nation down. There are a very select few individuals who reach the level where the name itself is enough. Sachin Tendulkar is perhaps the primary example of this league. Having been around for 19 years, the sweet 16 year old boy that faced the wrath of the Pakistan pace battery has gone on to become a true legend. It is amazing how a player can retain his place in the team for so long and for the past two decades, Indians have known the fact that Cricket is synonymous with Sachin Tendulkar. This great man crossed yet another pinnacle and set up a new one when he crossed the 12000 run mark in Test cricket and in doing so, became the first person in the history of the game to do so. It seems a befitting tribute to the game itself that a player of Sachin’s caliber and status flags off the 12K barrier. For years together, the Indian innings in any game began and ended with Sachin and it was taken for granted that he was the sole member of the Indian team. That is perhaps the reason why no other cricketer has been able to generate the slogan that he has generated and to this date, everyone accepts the axiom that “Sachin is God” and that is the end of the discussion. For 19 years, the price of Sachin’s wicket has seen a continuous rise and to this date, his wicket is the sweetest reward that an opponent can get. For a man who made Shane Warne take off his T-Shirt and get it autographed, Sachin has had a remarkably notable career in the sense that he has never been involved in a single controversy and his smile has lightened up the arena countless number of times and still continues to do so. For a man who has survived two generations of youngsters including one that has now started to wither away with the announcement that this is Ganguly’s last series, Sachin’s caliber is truly awe inspiring. As is aptly said in the latest ad of the Royal Bank of Scotland, there are a few men who change the game itself and that list starts with Sachin Tendulkar.

Will Bollywood ever make original movies again?

I had been searching a lot for a very highly recommended movie of Rahul Bose by the name “Shaurya”. I had heard very rave reviews of the movie and was overjoyed when I caught it on TV yesterday. Needless to say I watched it completely but in about ten minutes or less, it struck me that it was almost a total copy of the Hollywood flick “A few good men” starring Tom Cruise and Demi Moore. Yes the story has been Indianised to help people relate to it but the overall plot, scenes, characters were all picked up directly from the Hollywood movie and the picking up was so complete that I could almost predict the next scenes with surprising accuracy!!

Being somewhat a movie buff, I watch English movies a lot and in between, whenever I find myself watching a Hindi movie, some or the other English movie strikes in mind as its original. So Hitch becomes Partner. Reservoir Dogs becomes Kaante. Murder by numbers becomes Samay. The whole nine yards combined with The Matrix series and the Mission Impossible series becomes Awaara Paagal Deewana. Three men and a baby becomes Heyy Baby. Bruce Almighty becomes God Tussi Great Ho (note that the beard of Amitabh Bachchan is exactly same as that of Morgan Freeman) the list is almost endless.

Is it the case that some kind of virus has infected Bollywood? Why is it that there is such a great dearth of ideas so suddenly and so completely among the entire fraternity that you have to make a choice if you want to watch the movie in English or Hindi (the difference boils down to whether you want to hear songs during the movie or not)? To a certain extent, it was understandable that some very old Bollywood films are reconstructed in the present scenario (Nadiya Ke Paar becomes Hum Aapke Hai Kaun) but taking complete Hollywood films and making your own film and marveling on your own creation is out of my scope of understanding as a rational and fair man. Is it the case that anyone and everyone who has watched a Hollywood movie and found it interesting will come up and make a Hindi movie out of the same concept and marvel at his own creation? If such is the case, then why don’t these people directly employ the Hollywood people to make these remakes for them? At least it will be done with more efficiency than what we see endure these days! 

Ganeshotsav is finally here!!!

So it’s That time of the year again!!! The much awaited  Ganeshotsav  is here finally!! For me, it is a multi faceted enthusiasm, joy and celebration because of a number of reasons. First, we couldn’t celebrate Ganeshotsav last year because of a death in the family. It was probably the last year when I would be able to enjoy the ten days at home because this year, I had the joining date scheduled in June and it seemed I would have to miss Ganapati Bappa this year. But The Lord rescheduled just about everything for me and I am here in Nagpur, at home, having nothing to do but to enjoy the elevendays of Ganeshotsav (this year, Ganeshotsav is of 11 days!!! Yippeeeeee!!!)  Shree Ganesh being our  'Kuladaivat', Ganeshotsav is the primary celebration time. On the eve of Ganesh Chaturthi, I and my mother took centrestage for the decoration. Tejas the electrician and Tejas the co-decorator-in-chief coordinated with mummy the decorator-in-chief to form the three-tiered Puja Sthal in the drawing room that becomes the exclusive domain of Lord Ganesha every year. After that, Dad takes over as supreme-commander and I assume the role of Tejas the percussionist with the 'Taal' (these titles have been accorded over a long period of time and their history is a very complicated one so I’ll skip it for the time being!) Nothing is passed without his approval and fortunately this year, he passed everything without a single change much to our delight!! Ganeshotsav at my home is an experience not to be forgotten for the whole year and everything done during the whole span is done taking into account the morning and evening puja timings which are not subject to change under any circumstances. So there’s no partying, evening movie shows or the regular timepass with friends after 7 PM. The morning puja is done by dad and the evening  puja by me. For the ten or eleven day span of the festival, there is something happening almost every day. My uncle being a Sangeet Visharad, a bhajan program is a certainty at least once in the ten days and for the rest of the days, all the family friends give a yearly visit to our place. It is one of the things that I’m gonna miss badly when I leave Nagpur for the job and I intend to make it a point to ensure at least a 4-5 day visit to Nagpur during Ganeshotsav wherever I might be.

What do the movies teach you?

When you watch movies for the second time, you are familiar with the story line, the plot and the suspense. That's when the mind starts thinking about the lessons to be learned from the movies. When you pay attention, there are lots of lessons to be learned from the movies. One just needs to pay attention to what the director wants to convey. So let us start analyzing what the movies have to teach us by taking up the recent Will Smith starrer Hancock where Will Smith plays John Hancock (assumed name. Real name: No idea!!)

What does Hancock teach you?

1. All of us are born in pairs.

2. You are free to do whatever you want as long as you go solo.

3. While you are solo, you are as good as a superhero.

4. Once you find your “better half”, your powers start draining out.

5. Your “better half” or the proximity of your “better half” is the reason for the drain of your powers.

6. While you were solo, you could stop trains and take on machine gun bullets but now, a revolver is more than enough.

7. You don’t realize that you have lost your powers until it’s too late.

8. They don’t tell you the secrets until something drastic takes place.

9. The farther away you go from your “better half”, the faster you regain your lost powers.

10. While you are gone, they move on while you drink on.

A Tragedy

Perhaps the biggest tragedy of this article is that it is written in English. Now why is that a tragedy? It is because what we are about to consider here is the great Indian Culture and its present state, relevance and impact. A few days ago while we were on our way back home from Shegao, my kid cousin brother asked me to play the Hanuman VCD he had brought with him. It so happened that the CD had developed scratches and hung up mid-way creating tensions in the car (the source being my brother who was adamant that I start the CD at any cost and by any means). While I gave up that particular task as being an impossible one, I suddenly realized that he had come to know of the whole Indian mythology through the same medium viz animated movies, cartoon serials etc. While we got our knowledge from our grandparents and books, he was dependent on the TV and the borrowed creativity of a few individuals as well as a totally unreliable medium known as the Compact Disc. Why didn’t he read the literatures directly? Why couldn't he get the information from the same sources that we used? Has the age difference of 14 years completely overhauled the way we get to know our culture? Has the Golden period of India become restricted to these cheap media? Why do we no longer talk about the topics other than those provided by the so-called 24-hour-news-channels? Why does the discussion amongst friends not have topics like Shivchhatrapati or Rani Laxmibai or even Lord Ram? Why are we interested in the third marriage of the second step son of some long-forgotten bollywood heroine more than the myriad cultural nuances of our country? Why do we hesitate to reply strongly to a person when we know that he is wrong? Why are we drinking toilet cleaners like Pepsi and Coke when the list of home made refreshers is virtually unending? Why does the present generation need the international brands of toothpaste while others research on the Indian way of using a neem daatun?

This blog is being viewed most probably on a Windows based PC probably having the Microsoft Office 2007 package and still a select few know that the first code developed for Microsoft Word was developed in Pune by a company employing about 53 people ranging from the MD to the cleaning staff. Why have we started to under estimate the immense potential that lies hidden in our very own minds? When the British decided to take up India as its colony, they conducted a research and found out that the only effective way of establishing its superiority in India was to propagate that the English education system was better than the traditional Indian method. After 61 years, we still maintain the same philosophy!! No one wanted the traditional योग that originated in India. It took a person taking the Indian योग to the foreign countries, package it as YOGA and bring it back to its origin for the people to accept it!! Why have we started living in the make-believe worlds shown in the endlessly hysterical saas-bahu serials rather than discarding them totally and being happy in the life we had? Why does missing a single episode of these serials create atmospheres rivaling the world wars? Why do we let others decide how we are to lead our lives? Why do we let the salesmen on the TV make us believe that we were waiting with bated breath for a particular product which we never imagined and will probably never use it one month after purchasing it? Why? Were the so-called “modern and well equipped” gyms available to Lord Hanuman? For that matter, were they available to Indians before the British? In that case, were Indians never health cautious? There are stories of Indian pehelvaans beating the best built British personnel and yet the first thing that a boy does after his tenth exams is to join a gym! Ridiculous!

Traditional Indian medicine lists 1000 different ways of treating a human eye and its problems. Do you know the number of ways prescribed for the heart? Its zero. Indians never had any problems with the heart. They never had the terms blockages and heart attacks and heart failures and bypass surgeries and all the common words that we use these days. We abandon the Sanskrit, mother of all languages for a language called English that has almost no original words and relies on the words borrowed from other languages. We pull out the latest scientific calculators to add up five 2-digit numbers in a country that has had people capable of beating a supercomputer in calculating the 30th root of a 27 digit number just by using the traditional vedic mathematics skills. The other day, I watched a decades old (it was in black and white so you can imagine how old it was) program of Mr. P. L. Deshpande and had to change the channel thrice in half an hour to control my laughter and the aching sides. Why do we leave that quality for programs that feature stage managed actor audiences that laugh when a sign tells them to laugh?

If I go on listing the relevant points in one blog, perhaps I’ll never get the time to upload it! People!! Indians!! Wake up. Wake up to the knowledge that beckons you before you become incapable of handling it. Wake up to the Indian way of life. दोस्तों, हमारी जिंदगी अब एक ऐसे मोड़ पर है जहाँ हम अपने रास्ते ख़ुद चुनेंगे। हमें ये याद रखना है की हम कौन हैं। अगर अब हम नहीं जागे तो शायद कभी ना जाग पाएंगे। Friends, we are capable of creating wonders. We have the means. We have the brains. We are not dependant on anyone. We are to take charge. We; are the future.

The IPL Effect

A 44 day tournament rivaling the ICC Cricket word cup comes to an end with the so-called minnows Rajasthan rising from the ashes like a phoenix to take away the crown. Big names from various fields came to foray into a hitherto unknown form of cricket derived from the EPL with teams becoming business ventures and players becoming merchandise. Battle lines are redrawn with team mates becoming rivals and rivals becoming teammates. Cricketers don uniforms they never thought they would. A plethora of new activities like these were seen in the long span of the IPL. ICL, the so-called rebel group was washed away in an awe inspiring show of authority by the BCCI which chose to sideline the ICL rather than amalgamating it with the mainstream. While IPL turned out to be the stepping stone for many youngsters for the Indian Cricket team, ICL can virtually be said to be the padlock on those opting for the rebel group. Debates apart, there are certainly some very strong points, both positive as well as negative to be taken from the tournament. Firstly, the so-called big guns of Indian cricket were hardly able to make a mark in a format tailor made for them. With a very few exceptions, the senior pros failed miserably in delivering what was expected from them. Relying on foreign players to a troubling extent was seen from most of the teams. At the start of the tournament, the first few matches sealed the fate of a few teams while other teams witnessed a dramatic change as the tournament progressed. Kolkata, which looked like a formidable team and one of the frontrunners for the crown failed to deliver once players like McCullum returned home for national duties. Deccan Chargers, a team looking fabulous on paper failed to deliver right through the tournament. VVS Laxman, a player whom many labeled as a misfit for the 20-20 format took the opportunity to prove it right (!). Mumbai, starting on a low note and witnessing some ugly moments, rose up like anything and the final few matches that they lost could have gone anywhere. Bangalore. Well this was certainly a team that looked more like a test outfit rather than on 20-20 one. Sure they had the capacity of going great guns but alas, they never showed any desire to prove a point to the Doubting Thomases. In a format labeled as a batsman’s paradise, bowlers showcased the fact that no such thing exists anywhere and hard work always pays. The fact that the conversion rate of the free hits was minuscule itself proves the point. Yes, while we are at it, the much hyped free hit has failed to make a mark not only in the IPL but also in the one-day format. I wonder why the bowlers do not bowl every ball as if it were a free hit!

Perhaps the most important consequence of the IPL tournament is the fact that the bench strength of the national team has improved by leaps and bounds. Already 3-4 youngsters have been roped in for the national side and many more are ready and raring to go. A team having formidable and strong bench strength has the distinct advantage of the players in the playing eleven being aware of the fact that they are expendable, that their place in the side is not to be taken for granted, that there are many lined up to take their spot. This kind of healthy competition is what separates the winners from the posers. It was the key to the success of the once invincible team of Australia and it is the same factor that has played a critical role in the fact that the Indian team never reached that milestone in its totality. But that is perhaps history now that there is a horde waiting to pounce upon a vacant spot. Performance has suddenly returned to the top spot on the list of things you need to do to get a place in the national side. Maybe the tag of ‘Invincibles’ is just around the corner. Maybe…